Shadow Work: Coming Face to Face With the Shadow Side & Shadow Work Spell

   I always feared my “shadow side”. It drew up demonic images that resided within, and if you awakened her, she would be uncontrollable. My fear was I wouldn’t be able to come back from this. What if doing shadow work takes me under and overpowers me? Is there a murderer lurking beneath the surface? Or maybe I go crazy and abandoned everything I have worked so hard for? I have spent so long working on myself and getting to this mental space. I have kept positive, kept light, sacrificed, transformed, healed, and tucked away the parts of me that were less than desirable! So why would I want to release this box of darkness that may pull me into her current? What I found was the complete opposite.

When the total lunar eclipse came at dawn, the sun peeked over the earth, kissing the moon, I was in ritual calling out to the universe. The energy was potent. My candles pulsing to match my heartbeat. My bones and blood in rhythm with both the solar and lunar frequency. I felt completely invigorated, even with not being a morning person in the least degree, I was on fire. The day went on and that evening I stood under the moon beams once more and asked to be shown what I need to work on within myself. I quickly retracted this request fearful of what could come up, but the cosmos answered anyway.

    Within 20 minutes I was dissolved into a puddle of self reflection and regret. Lunar eclipses are notorious for bring up our shadows, I just thought my shadow was much lighter. I sat on the shower floor letting the water wash away the tears, stuck in a mental loop of all my relationships, and how I’ve been treating the people I’m closest with. The unseen resentment that comes out at the most unsuspecting times. A reservoir of bitterness stored deep within me, bubbling over. I realized there was an amour I created to protect myself from all the past pain I thought I had healed from. I saw that I really hadn’t done any work, just built walls to help this version of self function. This was the shadow. A part of me I didn’t realize was in existence, but everyone else could see this aspect of me crystal clear.

   After my purge I felt freer, lighter. Yet, I am still so weary of my shadow. What is it? What is this reference? If this is shadow work, I don’t want any part of it. I decided I would seriously study my thoughts before I cast them onto the moon. It was after all, such a minor thought, much smaller than the spell I preformed that morning.